Steven Wright Quotes - QuotesPlanet.com

Quotes and Sayings

June 19, 2013 To which the fountain sends forth returns again to the fountain. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Quotes

Age

Pet

Good Sites

Facebook Quotes

Weight Loss Tips

Quotes of Steven Wright

A friend of mine once sent me a postcard with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, Wish you were ...

Cross - Country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile I was a suspect.

Every now and then I like to lean out my window, look up and smile for a satellite picture.

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

I have an existential map. It has You are here written all over it.

I have the worlds largest seashell collection. You may have seen it, I keep it spread out on beaches all over the world.

I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious!

I just bought a microwave fireplace. You can spend an evening in front of it in only eight minutes.

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

I went to a store and asked if they had anything to put under coasters.

If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know

If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If toast always lands butter - Side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and ...

If toast always lands butter - Side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and ...

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silence.

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

My girlfriend sleeps in a queen - Sized bed and I sleep in a court jester - Sized bed.

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

They say the sun never sets over the British Empire, but it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.

Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second.

When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic.

Topics Cloud

Exaggeration Change Family Wisdom Summer Peace Vanity Hockey Prosperity Art Speeches Ideas Humorous Age Haste Mind Gold Angels Committees Grammar Chakras Optimism Men Drugs Listening Camping Faith Perfection Water Children Breathing Complaining Mistakes Nature Leadership Home Memory Letters Silence Violence

Copyright © QuotesPlanet.com

Home | Privacy Policy | Contact Us