Mark Twain Quotes
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.Mark Twain
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well - Fed.Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.Mark Twain
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.Mark Twain
I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved it.Mark Twain
Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.Mark Twain
On his deathbed Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuse are for all - - The soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.Mark Twain
Some people get an eduction without going to college the rest get it after they get out.Mark Twain
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow - Mindedness.Mark Twain
We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.Mark Twain
Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its one sure defense.Mark Twain
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.Mark Twain
Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, It was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.Mark Twain
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.Mark Twain
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.Mark Twain
Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than on all other days of the year put together. This proves, by the numbers left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.Mark Twain
We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether they was made or just happened.Mark Twain
Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned. - Notebook, 1898.Mark Twain
In our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk, ruined.Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.Mark Twain
When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty - One, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.Mark Twain
It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.Mark Twain
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.Mark Twain
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.Mark Twain
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.Mark Twain
If you take a dog which is starving and feed him and make him prosperous, that dog will not bite you. This is the primary difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
I did it partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.Mark Twain
