Mark Twain Quotes
Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.Mark Twain
We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.Mark Twain
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.Mark Twain
Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than on all other days of the year put together. This proves, by the numbers left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.Mark Twain
I did it partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well fed.Mark Twain
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.Mark Twain
The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.Mark Twain
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.Mark Twain
I never let schooling interfere with my education.Mark Twain
Carlyle said, A lie cannot live; it shows he did not know how to tell them.Mark Twain
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.Mark Twain
The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.Mark Twain
Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.Mark Twain
How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.Mark Twain
Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket, - - which is but a manner of saying, Scatter your money and your attention, but the wise man saith, Put all your eggs in the one basket and - - watch that basket.Mark Twain
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.Mark Twain
We all have thoughts that would shame the devil.Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.Mark Twain
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right.Mark Twain
Somewhere between the Angels and the French lies the rest of humanity.Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.Mark Twain
Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its one sure defense.Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - Not absence of fear.Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.Mark Twain
Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.Mark Twain
A lie can travel halfway round the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.Mark Twain
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog.Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
A patriot is mocked, scorned and hated; yet when his cause succeeds, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.Mark Twain
In our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.Mark Twain
