Mark Twain Quotes

Mark twain - love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of...
Mark twain - we are chameleons, and our partialities and...

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - Either by themselves or by others.
Mark Twain
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Mark Twain
I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Mark Twain
We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.
Mark Twain

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - there is no distinctly native american criminal...
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principle one was that they escaped teething.
Mark Twain
The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.
Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - - A christian.
Mark Twain
Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned. - Notebook, 1898.
Mark Twain
If you take a dog which is starving and feed him and make him prosperous, that dog will not bite you. This is the primary difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
Carlyle said, A lie cannot live; it shows he did not know how to tell them.
Mark Twain
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
Mark Twain
When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty - One, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain
Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.
Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you.
Mark Twain
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog.
Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that blushes - - Or needs to.
Mark Twain
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.
Mark Twain
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty - One, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, it is still nobler to teach others.
Mark Twain
Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its one sure defense.
Mark Twain
The billiard table is better than the doctor.
Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
Mark Twain
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.
Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.
Mark Twain
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.
Mark Twain
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.
Mark Twain
Some people get an eduction without going to college the rest get it after they get out.
Mark Twain
A man is accepted into church for what he believes - - And turned out for what he knows.
Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
Mark Twain
I did it partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.
Mark Twain