Mark Twain Quotes
Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.Mark Twain
We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether they was made or just happened.Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - - And stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit on a hot stove lid again - - And that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.Mark Twain
Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its one sure defense.Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.Mark Twain
The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.Mark Twain
I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.Mark Twain
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt - And children.Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.Mark Twain
We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world.Mark Twain
Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce.Mark Twain
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.Mark Twain
His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere.Mark Twain
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.Mark Twain
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty - One, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.Mark Twain
Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than on all other days of the year put together. This proves, by the numbers left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.Mark Twain
I was born modest. Not all over, but in spots.Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others - - And less trouble. - Speech, 1906.Mark Twain
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.Mark Twain
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.Mark Twain
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.Mark Twain
Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.Mark Twain
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.Mark Twain
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.Mark Twain
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.Mark Twain
If you take a dog which is starving and feed him and make him prosperous, that dog will not bite you. This is the primary difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.Mark Twain
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.Mark Twain
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.Mark Twain
