Mark Twain Quotes

Mark twain - i did it partly because it was worth it, but...
Mark twain - i never let schooling interfere with my education....

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Mark Twain
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
Mark Twain
I have spent most of my time worrying about thigs that have never happened.
Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - get your facts first, and then you can distort...
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
Mark Twain
So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
Mark Twain
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.
Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Mark Twain
Get your facts first and then you can distort them as much as you wish.
Mark Twain
We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether they was made or just happened.
Mark Twain
I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
Mark Twain
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk, ruined.
Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
Mark Twain
I have a prejudice against people who print things in a foreign language and add no translation. When I am the reader, and the other considers me able to do the translating myself, he pays me the quite a nice compliment - - But if he would do the translating for me I would try to get along without the compliment. A Tramp Abroad, 1880.
Mark Twain
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.
Mark Twain
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
Mark Twain
Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.
Mark Twain
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
Mark Twain
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
Mark Twain
Man will do many things to get himself loved he will do all things to get himself envied.
Mark Twain
If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill always came together, who would escape hanging?
Mark Twain
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Mark Twain
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right.
Mark Twain
Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.
Mark Twain
Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.
Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - - And stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit on a hot stove lid again - - And that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
Mark Twain
October is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. Others are July, January, April, September, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.
Mark Twain
Be good and you will be lonesome.
Mark Twain
When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty - One, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
Mark Twain