Mark Twain Quotes

Mark twain - get your facts first, and then you can distort...
Mark twain - he was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old...
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds upon the heel that crushes it.
Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Mark Twain
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain
A patriot is mocked, scorned and hated; yet when his cause succeeds, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
Mark Twain
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - great people are those who make others feel that...
Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.
Mark Twain
When I was a child people simply looked about them and were moderately happy today they peer beyond the seven seas, bury themselves waist deep in tidings, and by and large what they see and hear makes them unutterably sad.
Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
Mark Twain
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce.
Mark Twain
Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket, - - which is but a manner of saying, Scatter your money and your attention, but the wise man saith, Put all your eggs in the one basket and - - watch that basket.
Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you the one to slander you, and the other to get the news to you.
Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, it is still nobler to teach others.
Mark Twain
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk, ruined.
Mark Twain
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
Mark Twain
I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.
Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
Mark Twain
I am an old man and have a great many troubles, But most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
Mark Twain
The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.
Mark Twain
His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere.
Mark Twain
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain
George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - He could not even lie.
Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries.
Mark Twain
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
Mark Twain
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles.. by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
Mark Twain
I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive.
Mark Twain
It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Mark Twain
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Mark Twain
When in doubt, tell the truth.
Mark Twain
Be good and you will be lonesome.
Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.
Mark Twain
How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
Mark Twain
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be led by the nose.
Mark Twain