Mark Twain Quotes
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.Mark Twain
I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.Mark Twain
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.Mark Twain
When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.Mark Twain
How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.Mark Twain
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to end the whole human race, and finish the farce.Mark Twain
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - Not absence of fear.Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - - And stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit on a hot stove lid again - - And that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.Mark Twain
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.Mark Twain
Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce.Mark Twain
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.Mark Twain
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.Mark Twain
So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.Mark Twain
Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.Mark Twain
I have a prejudice against people who print things in a foreign language and add no translation. When I am the reader, and the other considers me able to do the translating myself, he pays me the quite a nice compliment - - But if he would do the translating for me I would try to get along without the compliment. A Tramp Abroad, 1880.Mark Twain
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.Mark Twain
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.Mark Twain
Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.Mark Twain
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.Mark Twain
Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.Mark Twain
Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.Mark Twain
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be led by the nose.Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.Mark Twain
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right.Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
Be good and you will be lonesome.Mark Twain
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow - Mindedness.Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.Mark Twain
It is discouraging to try and penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.Mark Twain
