Mark Twain Quotes

Mark twain - let us so live that when we come to die even the...
Mark twain - let us not be too particular; it is better to...

How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
Mark Twain
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Mark Twain
Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, It was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.
Mark Twain
Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.
Mark Twain

Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - there are people who strictly deprive themselves...
We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.
Mark Twain
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
Mark Twain
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.
Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain
Imagination is always the fabric of social life and the dynamic of history. The influence of real needs and compulsions, of real interests and materials, is indirect because the crowd is never conscious of it.
Mark Twain
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
Mark Twain
We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.
Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
Mark Twain
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.
Mark Twain
Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain.
Mark Twain
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.
Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk, ruined.
Mark Twain
I can live two months on a good compliment.
Mark Twain
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.
Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.
Mark Twain
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain
I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved it.
Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds upon the heel that crushes it.
Mark Twain
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
Mark Twain
The rule is perfect in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Mark Twain
I am an old man and have a great many troubles, But most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
Mark Twain
We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether they was made or just happened.
Mark Twain
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain
Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.
Mark Twain
A patriot is mocked, scorned and hated; yet when his cause succeeds, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
Mark Twain
Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned. - Notebook, 1898.
Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Mark Twain
We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.
Mark Twain
His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere.
Mark Twain