Mark Twain Quotes
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - - And stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit on a hot stove lid again - - And that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.Mark Twain
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.Mark Twain
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow - Mindedness.Mark Twain
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.Mark Twain
We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.Mark Twain
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others - - And less trouble. - Speech, 1906.Mark Twain
Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, It was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.Mark Twain
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you.Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.Mark Twain
If we had less statemanship we could get along with fewer battleships.Mark Twain
Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned. - Notebook, 1898.Mark Twain
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.Mark Twain
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.Mark Twain
Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.Mark Twain
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly in the long run.Mark Twain
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to end the whole human race, and finish the farce.Mark Twain
Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.Mark Twain
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.Mark Twain
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.Mark Twain
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
At the beginning of a great national change, the patriot is a scarce man: scorned, ridiculed and forgotten. When his cause succeeds, however, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.Mark Twain
If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill always came together, who would escape hanging?Mark Twain
The billiard table is better than the doctor.Mark Twain
George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - He could not even lie.Mark Twain
Everything has its limit - - Iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - 1906.Mark Twain
I was born modest. Not all over, but in spots.Mark Twain
Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its one sure defense.Mark Twain
