Mark Twain Quotes

Mark twain - of the delights of this world, man cares most for...
Mark twain - when we remember we are all mad, the mysteries...

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Mark Twain
Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.
Mark Twain
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain
Few sinners are saved after the fiirst twenty minutes of a sermon.
Mark Twain

This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty - Four.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - the billiard table is better than the doctor....
In our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.
Mark Twain
A man with a new idea is a crank - - Until the idea succeeds.
Mark Twain
I have spent most of my time worrying about thigs that have never happened.
Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - A Christian.
Mark Twain
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
Mark Twain
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.
Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Mark Twain
Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than on all other days of the year put together. This proves, by the numbers left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.
Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds upon the heel that crushes it.
Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, it is still nobler to teach others.
Mark Twain
The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
Mark Twain
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.
Mark Twain
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Mark Twain
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Mark Twain
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be led by the nose.
Mark Twain
When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.
Mark Twain
Carlyle said, A lie cannot live; it shows he did not know how to tell them.
Mark Twain
Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.
Mark Twain
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Mark Twain
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Mark Twain
It is discouraging to try and penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.
Mark Twain
After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
Mark Twain
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.
Mark Twain
It is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Mark Twain