Mark Twain Quotes
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.Mark Twain
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, it is still nobler to teach others.Mark Twain
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.Mark Twain
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.Mark Twain
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.Mark Twain
It is discouraging to try and penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.Mark Twain
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you the one to slander you, and the other to get the news to you.Mark Twain
We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.Mark Twain
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.Mark Twain
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty - One, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.Mark Twain
Everything has its limit - - Iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - 1906.Mark Twain
I have spent most of my time worrying about thigs that have never happened.Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.Mark Twain
Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce.Mark Twain
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.Mark Twain
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right.Mark Twain
I did it partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.Mark Twain
The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.Mark Twain
In our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.Mark Twain
Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket, - - which is but a manner of saying, Scatter your money and your attention, but the wise man saith, Put all your eggs in the one basket and - - watch that basket.Mark Twain
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.Mark Twain
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.Mark Twain
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.Mark Twain
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles.. by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.Mark Twain
I can live two months on a good compliment.Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt - And children.Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.Mark Twain
Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.Mark Twain
