Mark Twain Quotes

Mark twain - training is everything. the peach was once a...
Mark twain - be good and you will be lonesome....

Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
Mark Twain
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.
Mark Twain
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow - Mindedness.
Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
Mark Twain

All say, How hard it is that we have to die - - A strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - i thoroughly disapprove of duels. if a man should...
When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty - One, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain
Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.
Mark Twain
Everything has its limit - - Iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - 1906.
Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.
Mark Twain
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles.. by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it....
Mark Twain
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
Mark Twain
I was born modest. Not all over, but in spots.
Mark Twain
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
Mark Twain
It is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
Mark Twain
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - - A christian.
Mark Twain
Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.
Mark Twain
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.
Mark Twain
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
Mark Twain
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain
It is discouraging to try and penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.
Mark Twain
Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.
Mark Twain
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
Mark Twain
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
Mark Twain
October is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. Others are July, January, April, September, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.
Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
Mark Twain
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
Mark Twain
After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
Mark Twain
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principle one was that they escaped teething.
Mark Twain
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Mark Twain
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.
Mark Twain
Man will do many things to get himself loved he will do all things to get himself envied.
Mark Twain