Mark Twain Quotes

Mark twain - in the first place, god made idiots. that was for...
The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.
Mark Twain
Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience of 4000 critics.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - sacred cows make the best hamburger....
We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - it is easier to stay out than get out....
After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Mark Twain
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
Mark Twain
I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive.
Mark Twain
Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.
Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt - And children.
Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain
Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.
Mark Twain
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Mark Twain
This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty - Four.
Mark Twain
Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.
Mark Twain
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
Mark Twain
I have spent most of my time worrying about thigs that have never happened.
Mark Twain
Everything has its limit - - Iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - 1906.
Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries.
Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
Mark Twain
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.
Mark Twain
Carlyle said, A lie cannot live; it shows he did not know how to tell them.
Mark Twain
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Mark Twain
Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.
Mark Twain
The billiard table is better than the doctor.
Mark Twain
It is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Mark Twain
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler - - And less trouble.
Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.
Mark Twain
A man with a new idea is a crank - - Until the idea succeeds.
Mark Twain
Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.
Mark Twain
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.
Mark Twain
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.
Mark Twain