Mark Twain Quotes

Mark twain - october is one of the peculiarly dangerous months...
The billiard table is better than the doctor.
Mark Twain

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - you cannot depend on your eyes when your...
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - i am an old man and have a great many troubles,...

Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.
Mark Twain
Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.
Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
Mark Twain
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
Mark Twain
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Mark Twain
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Mark Twain
We all have thoughts that would shame the devil.
Mark Twain
A man is accepted into church for what he believes - - And turned out for what he knows.
Mark Twain
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly in the long run.
Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.
Mark Twain
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries.
Mark Twain
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.
Mark Twain
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be led by the nose.
Mark Twain
So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
Mark Twain
Somewhere between the Angels and the French lies the rest of humanity.
Mark Twain
Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.
Mark Twain
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.
Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
Mark Twain
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Mark Twain
Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute, but they all worship money.
Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
Mark Twain
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
Mark Twain
I have spent most of my time worrying about thigs that have never happened.
Mark Twain
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
Mark Twain
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.
Mark Twain
If we had less statemanship we could get along with fewer battleships.
Mark Twain
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
Mark Twain