Mark Twain Quotes
The rule is perfect in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.Mark Twain
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles.. by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.Mark Twain
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right.Mark Twain
The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.Mark Twain
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.Mark Twain
Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce.Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, It was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.Mark Twain
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.Mark Twain
I have spent most of my time worrying about thigs that have never happened.Mark Twain
A man with a new idea is a crank - - Until the idea succeeds.Mark Twain
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - Not absence of fear.Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it....Mark Twain
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.Mark Twain
Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.Mark Twain
Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.Mark Twain
There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well - Fed.Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.Mark Twain
The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.Mark Twain
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.Mark Twain
This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty - Four.Mark Twain
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges have two great functions to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge. - Notebook, 1908.Mark Twain
How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.Mark Twain
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk, ruined.Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.Mark Twain
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.Mark Twain
