Mark Twain Quotes

Mark twain - whenever you find that you are on the side of the...
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.
Mark Twain

I never let schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - those that respect the law and love sausage...
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - it is curious that physical courage should be so...

The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.
Mark Twain
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be led by the nose.
Mark Twain
It is discouraging to try and penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.
Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
I have a prejudice against people who print things in a foreign language and add no translation. When I am the reader, and the other considers me able to do the translating myself, he pays me the quite a nice compliment - - But if he would do the translating for me I would try to get along without the compliment. A Tramp Abroad, 1880.
Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others - - And less trouble. - Speech, 1906.
Mark Twain
When I was a child people simply looked about them and were moderately happy today they peer beyond the seven seas, bury themselves waist deep in tidings, and by and large what they see and hear makes them unutterably sad.
Mark Twain
Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket, - - which is but a manner of saying, Scatter your money and your attention, but the wise man saith, Put all your eggs in the one basket and - - watch that basket.
Mark Twain
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain
It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.
Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.
Mark Twain
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Mark Twain
Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.
Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain
The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance under the prompting of a brave, determined spirit.
Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
Mark Twain
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well - Fed.
Mark Twain
There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
Mark Twain
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Mark Twain
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.
Mark Twain
We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.
Mark Twain
Somewhere between the Angels and the French lies the rest of humanity.
Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.
Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.
Mark Twain
We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world.
Mark Twain
Carlyle said, A lie cannot live; it shows he did not know how to tell them.
Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain