Mark Twain Quotes
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.Mark Twain
Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain.Mark Twain
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.Mark Twain
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.Mark Twain
I never let schooling interfere with my education.Mark Twain
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.Mark Twain
We all have thoughts that would shame the devil.Mark Twain
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.Mark Twain
At the beginning of a great national change, the patriot is a scarce man: scorned, ridiculed and forgotten. When his cause succeeds, however, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.Mark Twain
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges have two great functions to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge. - Notebook, 1908.Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.Mark Twain
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.Mark Twain
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.Mark Twain
Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.Mark Twain
When I was a child people simply looked about them and were moderately happy today they peer beyond the seven seas, bury themselves waist deep in tidings, and by and large what they see and hear makes them unutterably sad.Mark Twain
Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.Mark Twain
A patriot is mocked, scorned and hated; yet when his cause succeeds, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.Mark Twain
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty - One, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.Mark Twain
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.Mark Twain
All say, How hard it is that we have to die - - A strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence then success is sure.Mark Twain
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.Mark Twain
After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt - And children.Mark Twain
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles.. by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.Mark Twain
The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.Mark Twain
