Mark Twain Quotes
The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.Mark Twain
Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its one sure defense.Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.Mark Twain
A man is accepted into church for what he believes - - And turned out for what he knows.Mark Twain
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.Mark Twain
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.Mark Twain
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.Mark Twain
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.Mark Twain
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be led by the nose.Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.Mark Twain
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles.. by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.Mark Twain
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.Mark Twain
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.Mark Twain
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.Mark Twain
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.Mark Twain
How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.Mark Twain
Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
When I was a child people simply looked about them and were moderately happy today they peer beyond the seven seas, bury themselves waist deep in tidings, and by and large what they see and hear makes them unutterably sad.Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it....Mark Twain
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog.Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.Mark Twain
Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute, but they all worship money.Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.Mark Twain
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.Mark Twain
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.Mark Twain
Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.Mark Twain
I can live two months on a good compliment.Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.Mark Twain
There ought to be a room in every house to swear in.Mark Twain
We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether they was made or just happened.Mark Twain
Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket, - - which is but a manner of saying, Scatter your money and your attention, but the wise man saith, Put all your eggs in the one basket and - - watch that basket.Mark Twain
