Mark Twain Quotes
We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether they was made or just happened.Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.Mark Twain
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.Mark Twain
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.Mark Twain
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principle one was that they escaped teething.Mark Twain
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.Mark Twain
I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.Mark Twain
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.Mark Twain
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.Mark Twain
I can live two months on a good compliment.Mark Twain
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.Mark Twain
When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.Mark Twain
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.Mark Twain
Carlyle said, A lie cannot live; it shows he did not know how to tell them.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good - Natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.Mark Twain
Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket, - - which is but a manner of saying, Scatter your money and your attention, but the wise man saith, Put all your eggs in the one basket and - - watch that basket.Mark Twain
Everything has its limit - - Iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - 1906.Mark Twain
We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.Mark Twain
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.Mark Twain
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.Mark Twain
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.Mark Twain
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you.Mark Twain
His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere.Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - Not absence of fear.Mark Twain
The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.Mark Twain
We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk, ruined.Mark Twain
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.Mark Twain
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.Mark Twain
