Mark Twain Quotes

Mark twain - golf is a good walk spoiled....
I did it partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.
Mark Twain

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Mark Twain
We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - i am opposed to millionaires, but it would be...
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - And stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove - Lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove - Lid again - And that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
Mark Twain
Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.
Mark Twain
How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
Mark Twain
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
Mark Twain
The billiard table is better than the doctor.
Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that blushes - - Or needs to.
Mark Twain
So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds upon the heel that crushes it.
Mark Twain
Imagination is always the fabric of social life and the dynamic of history. The influence of real needs and compulsions, of real interests and materials, is indirect because the crowd is never conscious of it.
Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges have two great functions to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge. - Notebook, 1908.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college...
I was born modest. Not all over, but in spots.
Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Mark Twain
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
Mark Twain
Somewhere between the Angels and the French lies the rest of humanity.
Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.
Mark Twain
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
Mark Twain
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
Mark Twain
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
Mark Twain
On his deathbed Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuse are for all - - The soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.
Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk, ruined.
Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.
Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it....
Mark Twain
Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain.
Mark Twain
Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.
Mark Twain
Few sinners are saved after the fiirst twenty minutes of a sermon.
Mark Twain
The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.
Mark Twain
A lie can travel halfway round the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
Mark Twain
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Mark Twain