Mark Twain Quotes
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.Mark Twain
I have a prejudice against people who print things in a foreign language and add no translation. When I am the reader, and the other considers me able to do the translating myself, he pays me the quite a nice compliment - - But if he would do the translating for me I would try to get along without the compliment. A Tramp Abroad, 1880.Mark Twain
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.Mark Twain
So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.Mark Twain
Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than on all other days of the year put together. This proves, by the numbers left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.Mark Twain
It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.Mark Twain
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.Mark Twain
Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain.Mark Twain
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.Mark Twain
I can live two months on a good compliment.Mark Twain
Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.Mark Twain
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.Mark Twain
After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.Mark Twain
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog.Mark Twain
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.Mark Twain
Everything has its limit - - Iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - 1906.Mark Twain
If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill always came together, who would escape hanging?Mark Twain
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled.Mark Twain
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.Mark Twain
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.Mark Twain
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.Mark Twain
Be good and you will be lonesome.Mark Twain
We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries.Mark Twain
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.Mark Twain
I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.Mark Twain
Somewhere between the Angels and the French lies the rest of humanity.Mark Twain
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.Mark Twain
Youth, large, lusty, loving - Youth, full of grace, force, fascination. Do you know that Old Age may come after you with equal grace, force, fascination.Mark Twain
