Mark Twain Quotes
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.Mark Twain
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.Mark Twain
After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.Mark Twain
A patriot is mocked, scorned and hated; yet when his cause succeeds, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.Mark Twain
It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Everything has its limit - - Iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - 1906.Mark Twain
Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.Mark Twain
Get your facts first and then you can distort them as much as you wish.Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - Not absence of fear.Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.Mark Twain
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.Mark Twain
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence then success is sure.Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.Mark Twain
I never let schooling interfere with my education.Mark Twain
We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges have two great functions to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge. - Notebook, 1908.Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
It is discouraging to try and penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.Mark Twain
Imagination is always the fabric of social life and the dynamic of history. The influence of real needs and compulsions, of real interests and materials, is indirect because the crowd is never conscious of it.Mark Twain
I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you.Mark Twain
It is easier to stay out than get out.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.Mark Twain
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.Mark Twain
Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others - - And less trouble. - Speech, 1906.Mark Twain
The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.Mark Twain
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.Mark Twain
