Mark Twain Quotes
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.Mark Twain
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler - - And less trouble.Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.Mark Twain
Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience of 4000 critics.Mark Twain
A man is accepted into church for what he believes - - And turned out for what he knows.Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - A Christian.Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you the one to slander you, and the other to get the news to you.Mark Twain
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.Mark Twain
We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.Mark Twain
If you take a dog which is starving and feed him and make him prosperous, that dog will not bite you. This is the primary difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.Mark Twain
There ought to be a room in every house to swear in.Mark Twain
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.Mark Twain
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.Mark Twain
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.Mark Twain
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.Mark Twain
On his deathbed Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuse are for all - - The soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.Mark Twain
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.Mark Twain
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.Mark Twain
It is easier to stay out than get out.Mark Twain
Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.Mark Twain
Imagination is always the fabric of social life and the dynamic of history. The influence of real needs and compulsions, of real interests and materials, is indirect because the crowd is never conscious of it.Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.Mark Twain
We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.Mark Twain
Few sinners are saved after the fiirst twenty minutes of a sermon.Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.Mark Twain
