Mark Twain Quotes
Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, It was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.Mark Twain
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be led by the nose.Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.Mark Twain
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler - - And less trouble.Mark Twain
George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - He could not even lie.Mark Twain
Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.Mark Twain
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.Mark Twain
Carlyle said, A lie cannot live; it shows he did not know how to tell them.Mark Twain
It is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.Mark Twain
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries.Mark Twain
It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.Mark Twain
After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.Mark Twain
When I was a child people simply looked about them and were moderately happy today they peer beyond the seven seas, bury themselves waist deep in tidings, and by and large what they see and hear makes them unutterably sad.Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.Mark Twain
The rule is perfect in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.Mark Twain
On his deathbed Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuse are for all - - The soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.Mark Twain
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.Mark Twain
All say, How hard it is that we have to die - - A strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.Mark Twain
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.Mark Twain
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.Mark Twain
The billiard table is better than the doctor.Mark Twain
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.Mark Twain
I have spent most of my time worrying about thigs that have never happened.Mark Twain
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.Mark Twain
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.Mark Twain
Get your facts first and then you can distort them as much as you wish.Mark Twain
We all have thoughts that would shame the devil.Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress but I repeat myself.Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that blushes - - Or needs to.Mark Twain
