Mark Twain Quotes

Mark twain - on his deathbed death, the only immortal who...
It is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Mark Twain

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - when you cannot get a compliment any other way...
I am an old man and have a great many troubles, But most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Mark Twain
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
Mark Twain
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
Mark Twain
It is discouraging to try and penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.
Mark Twain
When in doubt, tell the truth.
Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it....
Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a...
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
Mark Twain
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
Mark Twain
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Mark Twain
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler - - And less trouble.
Mark Twain
George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - He could not even lie.
Mark Twain
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
Mark Twain
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
Mark Twain
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.
Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Mark Twain
Imagination is always the fabric of social life and the dynamic of history. The influence of real needs and compulsions, of real interests and materials, is indirect because the crowd is never conscious of it.
Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.
Mark Twain
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Mark Twain
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.
Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence then success is sure.
Mark Twain
Man will do many things to get himself loved he will do all things to get himself envied.
Mark Twain
This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty - Four.
Mark Twain
Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.
Mark Twain
Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience of 4000 critics.
Mark Twain
Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.
Mark Twain
Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce.
Mark Twain
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain