Mark Twain Quotes
This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty - Four.Mark Twain
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.Mark Twain
We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world.Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.Mark Twain
I have spent most of my time worrying about thigs that have never happened.Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you.Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk, ruined.Mark Twain
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.Mark Twain
I was born modest. Not all over, but in spots.Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.Mark Twain
It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.Mark Twain
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.Mark Twain
We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.Mark Twain
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.Mark Twain
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.Mark Twain
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - Either by themselves or by others.Mark Twain
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.Mark Twain
If we had less statemanship we could get along with fewer battleships.Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.Mark Twain
Somewhere between the Angels and the French lies the rest of humanity.Mark Twain
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges have two great functions to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge. - Notebook, 1908.Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence - - And then success is sure.Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.Mark Twain
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.Mark Twain
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.Mark Twain
Get your facts first and then you can distort them as much as you wish.Mark Twain
I can live two months on a good compliment.Mark Twain
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.Mark Twain
