Mark Twain Quotes
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others - - And less trouble. - Speech, 1906.Mark Twain
Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.Mark Twain
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.Mark Twain
Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.Mark Twain
I am an old man and have a great many troubles, But most of them never happened.Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds upon the heel that crushes it.Mark Twain
We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.Mark Twain
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.Mark Twain
When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.Mark Twain
We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.Mark Twain
The rule is perfect in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.Mark Twain
It is easier to stay out than get out.Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.Mark Twain
I have a prejudice against people who print things in a foreign language and add no translation. When I am the reader, and the other considers me able to do the translating myself, he pays me the quite a nice compliment - - But if he would do the translating for me I would try to get along without the compliment. A Tramp Abroad, 1880.Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.Mark Twain
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.Mark Twain
The billiard table is better than the doctor.Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries.Mark Twain
Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce.Mark Twain
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - A Christian.Mark Twain
Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.Mark Twain
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can read.Mark Twain
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.Mark Twain
Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute, but they all worship money.Mark Twain
If we had less statemanship we could get along with fewer battleships.Mark Twain
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.Mark Twain
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - - And stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit on a hot stove lid again - - And that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.Mark Twain
Be good and you will be lonesome.Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence - - And then success is sure.Mark Twain
