Mark Twain Quotes
Carlyle said, A lie cannot live; it shows he did not know how to tell them.Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - - A christian.Mark Twain
Some people get an eduction without going to college the rest get it after they get out.Mark Twain
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.Mark Twain
Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.Mark Twain
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.Mark Twain
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.Mark Twain
The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.Mark Twain
When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty - One, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.Mark Twain
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.Mark Twain
We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
The rule is perfect in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.Mark Twain
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.Mark Twain
The billiard table is better than the doctor.Mark Twain
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.Mark Twain
If we had less statemanship we could get along with fewer battleships.Mark Twain
There ought to be a room in every house to swear in.Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well fed.Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you.Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others - - And less trouble. - Speech, 1906.Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges have two great functions to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge. - Notebook, 1908.Mark Twain
October is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. Others are July, January, April, September, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.Mark Twain
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.Mark Twain
We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.Mark Twain
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - A Christian.Mark Twain
Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned. - Notebook, 1898.Mark Twain
