Mark Twain Quotes

Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - when i was a child people simply looked about...

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - - And stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit on a hot stove lid again - - And that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
Mark Twain
Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, It was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.
Mark Twain
I have spent most of my time worrying about thigs that have never happened.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - when in doubt, tell the truth....

If you take a dog which is starving and feed him and make him prosperous, that dog will not bite you. This is the primary difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain
Mark twain - there ought to be a room in every house to swear...
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
Mark Twain
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
Mark Twain
If we had less statemanship we could get along with fewer battleships.
Mark Twain
The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.
Mark Twain
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.
Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, it is still nobler to teach others.
Mark Twain
I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved it.
Mark Twain
I have a prejudice against people who print things in a foreign language and add no translation. When I am the reader, and the other considers me able to do the translating myself, he pays me the quite a nice compliment - - But if he would do the translating for me I would try to get along without the compliment. A Tramp Abroad, 1880.
Mark Twain
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Mark Twain
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
Mark Twain
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - Either by themselves or by others.
Mark Twain
If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill always came together, who would escape hanging?
Mark Twain
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.
Mark Twain
George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - He could not even lie.
Mark Twain
After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Mark Twain
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.
Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - A Christian.
Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence - - And then success is sure.
Mark Twain
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
Mark Twain
Some people get an eduction without going to college the rest get it after they get out.
Mark Twain
Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce.
Mark Twain
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Mark Twain
I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
Mark Twain
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well - Fed.
Mark Twain
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.
Mark Twain