Mark Twain Quotes
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - Either by themselves or by others.Mark Twain
I did it partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.Mark Twain
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.Mark Twain
We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.Mark Twain
A man is accepted into church for what he believes - - And turned out for what he knows.Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.Mark Twain
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.Mark Twain
Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.Mark Twain
Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.Mark Twain
I have a prejudice against people who print things in a foreign language and add no translation. When I am the reader, and the other considers me able to do the translating myself, he pays me the quite a nice compliment - - But if he would do the translating for me I would try to get along without the compliment. A Tramp Abroad, 1880.Mark Twain
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.Mark Twain
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can read.Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.Mark Twain
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.Mark Twain
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.Mark Twain
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles.. by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.Mark Twain
Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.Mark Twain
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - A Christian.Mark Twain
Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute, but they all worship money.Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.Mark Twain
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.Mark Twain
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you the one to slander you, and the other to get the news to you.Mark Twain
If we had less statemanship we could get along with fewer battleships.Mark Twain
When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.Mark Twain
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly in the long run.Mark Twain
I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive.Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence then success is sure.Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well fed.Mark Twain
