Mark Twain Quotes
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be led by the nose.Mark Twain
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.Mark Twain
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to end the whole human race, and finish the farce.Mark Twain
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.Mark Twain
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.Mark Twain
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.Mark Twain
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.Mark Twain
A man with a new idea is a crank - - Until the idea succeeds.Mark Twain
Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.Mark Twain
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.Mark Twain
This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty - Four.Mark Twain
A lie can travel halfway round the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.Mark Twain
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.Mark Twain
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.Mark Twain
I was born modest. Not all over, but in spots.Mark Twain
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you.Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.Mark Twain
So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.Mark Twain
There ought to be a room in every house to swear in.Mark Twain
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.Mark Twain
I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.Mark Twain
I can live two months on a good compliment.Mark Twain
Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience of 4000 critics.Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.Mark Twain
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog.Mark Twain
Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.Mark Twain
How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.Mark Twain
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.Mark Twain
Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.Mark Twain
